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The Telegraph's selling the piece by drawing comparison's with our own much-loved Simon Cowell, but the house is fascinating enough. Eyot House belonged to Richard D'Oyly Carte, a Victorian impresario who converted a muddy bit of land in the Thames into the foundations for a pretty, chalet-style property. It was bought and restored by the Phokous 25 years ago, and is now for sale… guide price: £4m. Full story here.
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Or… "36 temporary studio homes". Actually, they look pretty cosy.
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All kinds of accusations are flying as former Arsenal star Cesc Fabregas has found himself in the centre of a legal row concerning a multi-million pound London property owned by his girlfriend's ex-husband. Daniella Semaan has taken her property tycoon husband Elie Taktouk to court, claiming he's failed in his responsibilities to provide her with financial support for their children. She's demanding the sale of his £7m London property, to liquidate £1.4m for her to buy a property of her own. But - and here's the killer part - Taktouk is claiming that a company controlled by her footballer boyfriend has made an aggressive £5.4m bid on the flat. Full story here.
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According to Marsh and Parsons estate agents, the first quarter of 2013 has seen prime London prices climb 3.6%, leaving them 12.8% up on the year. The accompanying message is that "prime" continues to outperform "prime central", where a shortage of property has seen investors looking further afield. Home owners in expensive but non-central areas are cashing in on the interest and competition.
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A pictorial, over at the Telegraph.
Including (the cheapest), this little single-acre circle of French Polynesian white sand, for £508,000...

and - the most interestingly situated - this tiny trio of islands, connected to the mainland by a bridge and featuring an 18-bedroom three-storey property, on the border between New York state and Canada (guide price: £1.5m).


Seems like this is the place to go.
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London has the 10 most violent local authorities in Britain despite sharp falls in crime over the past decade, a new international study claimed today.
Yeah, in true Orwellian style it's called The UK Peace Index, and it's worth pointing out at this juncture that it's not the actual local authorities that are violent - it's not about marauding councillors - but the boroughs. So, where are the most violent neighbourhoods in the Peace Index?
Lewisham is the most violent place to live in the country, and gets a special mention for its "staggering" levels of public disorder. Lambeth, Hackney, Newham and Tower Hamlets are the next five most punchy.
The data was suppled by the Home Office and covers a decade. The report comes courtesy of the Institute for Economics and Peace (its other publications include the Global Terrorism Index, no kidding).
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Rumours of an imminent move to London have been circulating for the past few months, now we know. She's coming, and she'll be based at her Canary Wharf penthouse, a property she has apparently owned for some time. I wonder, then, why the need to break ties with LA?
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According to Owen Hatherley, writing in the Guardian, the "future of riverside living", as one leading developer has called it, doesn't include houseboats. Tideway Village, a long-standing (or -floating) little community on the Thames at Nine Elms, is under threat from an ambitious new development called Riverlight. The first the river-dwellers learned about it was when they looked at simulated images of the development, and saw floating gardens in place of their homes. Battle, apparently, has already commenced.
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View Larger Map
£250m, according to this. It's a Carlton House Terrace property, overlooking St James's Park, currently owned by a Middle Eastern owner, royalty themselves, and - interestingly - restored to how it would look in its heyday (rather than kitted out with cinemas, pools and gyms). And a good thing too, since...
The brochure only shows black and white interior pictures taken in the 1890s because “for security reasons the current owner does not want many of the features photographed”.
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Series 9, Episode 5...
Leigh Osborne and Graham Voce want to convert and extend a landmark 150-year-old water tower in central London. Grade II listed, but utterly derelict, with six-foot-thick walls and crowned with a huge steel tank, it's an almighty task.
As if this isn't challenging enough, Graham and Leigh also plan to build two additional contemporary structures at the base: a new lift shaft connected to the tower by a series of glass tunnels, and a modern living space nicknamed the 'Cube'.
Altogether this cluster of buildings will create a four-bedroom luxury home, over nine floors, crowned with a spectacular viewing room offering 360-degree views across London.
But a tight schedule and soaring budget make this a stress-laden build.
Now they're hoping that £6.5m might just compensate for the stress.
The property's on the market with Knight Frank, just six months after the show was aired. There's certainly nothing else quite like it, and the glass-heavy design certainly makes for 360 degree views. But, looking at the photos in the particulars, you've got to wonder about the ratio of eyes looking out to eyes looking in.
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Better late than never… and the message is, the smaller the flat the bigger the yield. Kind of.
1 bedroom - 6.8% 2 bedrooms - 6.4% 3 bedrooms - 6.2% 4+ bedrooms - 5.6%
The reason? Smaller properties have seen proportionately larger rent rises over past 12 months. Read the report here.
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Consultancy Jones Lang LaSalle have been looking at the effect on house prices of London's massive Crossrail project, and are predicting price rises in some neighbourhoods of as much as 44% by 2018. If you live in Ealing, Woolwich or Canary Wharf, you might want to look at this.
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