Let's start with the Communities and Local Government figures, because we can at least pretend they mean something without having to pull all sorts of strange facial expressions. The data relates to November, shows a monthly rise of 1.7%, pushes the price of "the average UK home" back above £200,000 and the annual house price inflation figure into the black (0.6%) for the first time since June 2008. Now to the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors. Want clarity? Close your browser now, then. In December, RICS reports that 30% more surveyors thought house prices were rising than thought they were falling. In November, the difference had been 35%. So, there you go. The housing market was 5% worse. Or something.

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