Colonel Gaddafi's son Saif al-Islam Gaddafi has bought a plush pad in Hampstead. Here's how the Mail on Sunday managed to paint a picture of a venue fit for a Bond villain:

The neo-Georgian eight-bedroom property bought by Saif al-Islam Gaddafi in a secluded road in Hampstead, North London, boasts a swimming pool, sauna room, Jacuzzi and suede-lined cinema room where he will be able to monitor world events.

... while stroking a long-haired white cat. He might choose to watch Laurel & Hardy films while he's in there, too, but they're probably right. He'll mainly use it to monitor world events. What's the country coming to?

Meanwhile, it gets worse. Over at the Telegraph, that final bastion of opera-loving, Jag-driving, University town murder-solving Englishness Inspector Morse has had his elegant home redesigned redneck-style by a bunch of hapless squatters:

Members of the Inspector Morse Appreciation Society regularly travel to see the historic house, which was once worth well over £2 million. But they have been horrified to find that the one-time delightful 19th century mansion now lies derelict with boarded-up windows and doors a far cry in from its TV heyday. The Polish squatters stripped valuable fittings from the house and have left its overgrown gardens strewn with discarded junk furniture and other rubbish.

Interestingly, the house isn't in Oxford, it's in Ealing.

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