Rumours of a Paris Hilton London property purchase have been circulating ever since the Rat and Mouse was just a Kitten and a Pup (sounds weird, doesn't it, but it's right). Back in May, she was apparently moving to London because of the men, their "cute little accents and their manners". Now, it's not just the blokes, she's extending her love to every one of us, because we're just, like, so real.

"London is my favourite city in the world. I love their accents, their attitude," the Daily Star quotes her as saying. "They are so real, they are not fake."

You're so right, Paris, and the realness and not fakeness starts right here, baby. She says she's looking in St John's Wood. Who knows, perhaps she'll fall in love with a well-mannered, cute-accented St John's Wood estate agent, like James here, buy a house from him, get married, and scatter a little stardust on this havoc-blasted London property market.

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