Thanks to the Rat and Mouse reader with expensive tastes who sent us this. Old Swan House, at 32 Chelsea Embankment, is a £32m mansion, 19,000 sq ft and Grade 1-listed. You can tell it's the real deal because its staff bedrooms outnumber the guest bedrooms, adding up to 20. The dining room seats 20, there's a swimming pool, lift, ballroom, cinema and underground parking for five cars. Particulars, here.

Tomorrow, silver birches in Muswell Hill.

The Particulars - what's this about?