If you're any way near as sad as me, you'll have on thing and one thing only on your mind today: The Apprentice. First, let's get the property porn out of the way. This year, they're shacking up in Notting Hill, in a £12 million townhouse close to Kensington Gardens. According to a nice piece in the Evening Standard, the BBC is being fleeced £6,000 a week to rent the property and replace the antique decor with something more suited to a bunch of reality TV tarts with 3rd class degrees in business science, full marketing and middle-management babble vocabularies and lifetimes spent aspiring to more expensive cufflinks. Sadly, there's no property developer or estate agent to root for this year. There is, however, an entrepreneur with a proven track record in bankruptcy, not one but two car salesmen, and an impressively overqualified quantum physicist who's pissed off with herself for not inventing the iPod. Yeah! Stupid!

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