I don't buy the Times every day so I missed this one, but apparently the well-heeled residents of Mayfair's Upper Brook Street recently took out a two-page ad in the newspaper demanding that Westminster Council close the roads surrounding the neighbouring American Embassy. Six million pounds worth of security measures are about to be put in place to protect the area from its obvious terrorist attractions, but it's not enough. And - for Christ's sake - imagine this:

[A] resident, who wished to remain anonymous, told The Times that she was displeased with council plans for hydraulic bollards that can be raised during periods of high alert. "It's going to look like a prison," she said, adding that the authorities had not even had the decency to match railings with the existing gold ones.

What's the world coming to? The best bit's still to come:

A neighbour, Thea Haddad, understands, however. "It is going to be like living in the West Bank," claims the 29-year-old property developer, whose pillared doorstep is not far from the Embassy.

I'm sure it must be just like the West Bank. But that's only the very first layer of irony. Unwrap the others for yourself. And here's the piece.