Okay... so now we've got our "headline of the year" sorted, and it's only January. The story is that the "controversial" king of pop - one of the few people in the world who would become more popular by becoming best known as an estate agent - is considering a job offer from Aaj Holdings Ltd in Bahrain, where he would offer advice about theme parks and concert halls. More, here.

Lock up your nippers... Mikey's coming [May 26]